


Whiskey in the Pumpkin Pie

by wtvoc



Series: the Continuing Adventures of Captain Hook and Ichabod Crane [3]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV), Sleepy Hollow (TV)
Genre: captain crane - Freeform, once upon a time/sleepy hollow crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-21
Updated: 2014-11-21
Packaged: 2018-02-26 12:28:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2652068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtvoc/pseuds/wtvoc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>captain crane! prompted from tumblr user sw33td3m0n: "cooking is a lot harder than it looks, apparently."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whiskey in the Pumpkin Pie

"Cooking is a lot harder than it looks, apparently." Ichabod looked down into the bowl at the unappealing sludge, nudging it with his spoon. "Should the eggs have been mixed better, do you think?"

Jones peered over his shoulder and grunted. “I’ve seen crewmen heave into the ocean, and that substance had better form than this.” Ichabod shuddered in disgust, both at the imagery and its utter accuracy. He picked up the sheet of paper printed with the instructions and re-read the instructions. “Do you suppose we used the right sort of milk? It says ‘evaporated’ here. What are you doing!”

"Whiskey makes everything taste better, mate," Jones said. He grinned and poured another measure into the bowl, winking at Ichabod’s scowl. His ire deepened when Jones used his hook to stir the contents of the bowl.

"Desist, Jones! Ugh, pirates. Honestly." Jones laughed and licked the tip of his hook. Crane was about to insult the man again when he noticed Jones’ eyes deepen in color, his eyebrow cocked just so. The man was making eyes at Sheriff Swan while licking his metal appendage. Wonderful.

"Needs more whiskey."

Crane spirited the bowl away, curling his arm around it and huddling into it, suspicious and annoyed. 

"Everything okay there, boys?" Abbie called out, her voice full of light amusement. He suppressed the smile that always threatened when she spoke to him and affected mild effrontery. 

"Captain Hook is a foul git and is trying to get us all sauced."

"The alcohol burns off in the oven, mate. I saw that on Martha."

"Washington?" Ichabod’s brow furrowed in consternation.

"No, you ponce. Stewart. A doyenne of modernity in the home. I’ve learned much from her, like how lilies and irises really ought not be in the same arrangement, that I am a Winter, and how vodka is best in pie crust."

"Did we use vodka?" Ichabod was confused, looking around for the pie crust recipe to check his work. Jones took the opportunity to steal the bowl from his grasp.

"We used Pillsbury, mate. You really ought keep up."

"Guys," Sheriff Swan chided, flipping a magazine page with impatience. "Do you need help over there?"

"No, no, Sheriff. We’ve got this. Easy as cake."

"Pie," Abbie corrected automatically, flipping her own magazine page.

"Pie," Jones scoffed. "It’s ‘pie.’ Or it’s supposed to be. I’m not sure what _we’re_ making.”

"We never had pumpkin pie at our Thanksgiving celebrations," Ichabod grumbled. "In fact, the traditional fare at our dinners was always—"

"I don’t give one bleeding, buggering fuck about the good ole days, Crane." The smarmy pirate had tossed his head back in an exaggerated bid for annoyance, but Ichabod was onto the man. He was in light spirits, and Ichabod suspected it had much to do with the blonde woman seated next to Abbie who kept sending looks his way. 

"Get the crust, Captain."

"Aye, aye, Lieutenant."

**Author's Note:**

> i told you, i will write about these two forever and ever and ever and if you ever have a prompt you want to see, please come see me on tumblr (this-too-too-sullied-flesh). happy early thanksgiving, from the pirate who has never celebrated and the witness with opinions on pumpkin pie.


End file.
